drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
