just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My liver just had a heart attack.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
