Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
