sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
