Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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