Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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