Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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