I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
...so i touched it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
