YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
false alarm, still single
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
