some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
