At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
