I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
