I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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