How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
