She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
