franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
