I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
