the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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