apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
