okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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