How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Soap is not a condiment
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
