I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
