I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
