Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
