We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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