Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
