ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
