having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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