I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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