The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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