If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
