why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
