I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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