Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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