Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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