You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
