apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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