Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
