I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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