I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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