Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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