My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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