I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
