Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
