Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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