dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
