I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
