I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize