i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I skipped work to stalk him.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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