so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
