So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
