Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
