Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
