is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
