we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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