In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
