life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize