"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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