everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
