It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
