im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
