Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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