Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
nut hugger
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
