I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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