eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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