problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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