I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
