You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
