Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
