youre lurking in front of me
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
