All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Life is so much better after having sex.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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