Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
